On silent nights I strain me more

To hear those sounds of the lark’s song

But the birds have all lost their voice

And in silence, my whole world seems to belong

I fight, I flail, I struggle hard

To break the shackles and go back to him

To hear him call me beautiful just one last time

To hear him say I am his every whim

We joked, we laughed and hid the blush

We played, we loved we spoke with eyes

Hearing the unsaid and dreaming the spark

Alas, today, all but dust does lie

I writhe inside with grief that’s lost

It’s way around and can’t ever come out

So I pierce within each moment, each day

Wanting but to the heavens shout

That Thou art merciless and deeply so

To nip the beautiful bloom in the bud

And send hopes so pretty crashing to the floor

That cannot be what the good Lord does

And so I pray with grudging hope

That there be some reason to this darkness around

That my love, up there, is at his cocky best

And every mythical joy does him surround

I could never give him what I wanted to here

And so I send fervent prayers up his way

That the after-life be the dream we hope for

And that I can kiss him again, at last, someday.